We all knew this: the first date. You are sitting in front of someone you barely know, asking yourself “and then, what do you do in life? By discreetly gauging your gaze. So, what convinces someone to accept a second appointment, exactly? Of course, there is this spark, but in talking with several men and women, we learned that it is far from everything. In fact, some of the people we interviewed kept their distance a bit during their first meeting, until BAM! A joke, something almost insignificant suddenly gave them a furious desire to see the other again. Read their stories, and who knows? Maybe one of these tricks will serve you at a future date.
“We are both snobs about beer”
“A guy named Rob gave me a drink. We ended up in a local bar. I ordered a lager, a Yuengling. Rather than saying “the same thing”, he complimented me on my choice, then ordered another beer and made me taste it. We continued to order different beers and share, and it became clear that we shared a real passion for beer. Most men like that, but someone who appreciates it as much as me immediately catches my eye. Four years later, we live together … Besides, he asked me in marriage in this pub! ”
– Jessica Waters, 26, Philadelphia
The lesson to remember: a common passion is extremely powerful
Finding common interests like “he loves golf, she loves golf” is most of the time on the menu of a first date. But it’s different for Jessica and Rob: they do not just love beer, they love it. Never underestimate the attraction between two people who ignite for the same thing. So even if it’s not the fireworks, many people will definitely accept a second appointment, because they are attracted by a future where they could, for example, play tennis while seeing their Darling. In our society at the same time, it is a real asset. “A common taste creates a sense of acceptance,” says Dr. Gilda Carle, author of Do not Bet On The Prince! (Do not bet on prince charming!). Let’s be honest, it’s always a bit painful to have to explain to someone our passion for something particular, and when the other understands us, we want to linger. While you are both fanatical about Glee or Scrabble enthusiasts, do not be afraid to say it and immerse yourself in a great conversation about it. It’s gold !
“We had nothing in common, but he was so attentive! ”
“I had an appointment with a stranger, but there was not much going on. We did not really have hooked atoms, and when we came out of the movies, it was obvious that we did not even like the same movies. He invited me to have a coffee at his place. Normally, I would have refused, but he seemed to really like me, so I went. There, he goes to the fridge, and leaves strawberries, blueberries and grapes. With a smirk, I asked, “What are all these fruits? He flabbergasted me: “Well, on the phone, you told me you loved it. His attention caught up with everything else, and from that moment, I knew there would be a second meeting. ”
– Pat Baronowski, 38 years old, New York
The lesson to remember: make sure to really listen
The first fool who comes knows that we have to listen to the person we meet, and the majority of us do it (most of the time, anyway) by nodding and asking questions about this. she just said. But to really show how much she makes you crack, mention something she talked about hours ago, or even days ago (even if it’s your first date, you’ve probably exchanged emails or phone calls where you can draw ideas). If she tells you that she likes spicy food, for example, offer to take her to a Thai restaurant that will ignite her taste buds. Or if she mentioned an important meeting earlier in the week, be sure to ask her, “So, how did this important meeting go? As Pat’s story shows, such thoughtfulness will flatter the other person, and even if she’s cautious, it almost certainly guarantees that you’ll be able to try and impress her again on a second date. .
“A shabby tramp beats a chic cocktail bar, anytime”
“I had racked my brains to find out where to bring this woman, and I had decided for this Chicos Cocktail Bar. I thought it would impress him. But after a while, she suggested we go somewhere else, and now, instead of sipping cocktails in Luttan…